On Being Short

No one talks about it, but there is a definite social bias against short people. I wouldn't call it oppression, but it's damned annoying. Doubly so for a short man, and triply so for a short, pre-physical transition man.

1. No one takes you seriously. I know that all my friends see me as male, but I'm not sure if any of them actually sees me as an adult. It's very difficult to feel grown up when it seems like everyone else sees you as a child. Standing in line for the grocery store, I had someone ask me what grade I was in. I didn't even know how to answer, since I haven't been in school, even college, for at least a year and a half. And does college count as a grade? "I'm a senior in college, but I'm not in school at the moment, so I'm not sure how to answer your question." At the coffee shop, people call me "honey" and "sweetie", and the fact that it's both patronizing and misgendering makes me grind my teeth. I suppose if I was cisgendered and wanted to look grown up, I could wear makeup and tight shirts to let people know that I was a post-pubescent woman. I can't even begin to figure out how to make people take me seriously as an adult male without first going on hormones.

2. People touch you all the time. Being short makes it more difficult for tall people to see you, so you get bumped into and stepped on a lot. That I can handle (not happily, but I've been in enough mosh pits that it doesn't usually faze me), but what drives me crazy is what people do when they realized they've bumped you. They touch your shoulder, or even worse, your head, by way of apology. Sometimes they touch both your shoulders, or your back. I hate being touched by strangers, especially strange men (who are the majority of tall people touching you); it makes my skin crawl. I don't understand why they feel that this is appropriate. You accidentally touched me without my permission, so by way of apology, you're going to intentionally touch me without my permission? Besides the apology pat, you also get the attack hug, which I think is mostly relegated to people who are read as female. That is, people (again, often men, but a surprising number of women as well) you've met once or twice come in and attempt to pick you up in a hug. I've become adept at the duck-and-run technique, which is easier the taller the person. It seems that if you l0ok small enough to pick up, people can't help but try it. Can I have one hug (if I have to hug you) without my feet leaving the ground? I mean, really, it makes me feel more like a grownup to keep my feet on the ground.

3. It's impossible to find clothing that fits. I imagine this is slightly easier for women, but are any other guys out there frustrated by the choices for small men? I mean, I got this new sweater I thought looked pretty keen. I wore it to a show with my friend Erin, and told her I just got it, and how did she like it? She said, it's cute! I think [her six year old son's name goes here] has one jut like it! Of course it was a boys' sweater, one they make in all boys' sizes, so of course her son had one just like it. At least boys' ties are cheaper. They don't even make jeans in my size, they're all at least 4 inches too long so I either have to have cuffs, step on them a lot, or roll them under. I suppose I could wear boys' jeans, but I draw the line at snaps instead of buttons. So much for that! And I think that my clothing makes people see me as much younger, because I have to buy it in boys' sizes, leading to more of #1 above.

4. You feel like you either have to compensate a lot (swearing, drinking, talking about literature) or just speak up for yourself (I'm 24. I'm 24. No, I'm not in middle school. Yes that's my brother but he's 12 years younger than me. Please just look at my ID.) so that people don't see you as a child. It informs your every move, how you shape your personality, whether you like it or not.

5. You can't see. You miss out on a lot of things that happen in crowded spaces, because there's someone standing in front of you. I have to get to concerts early, every time, in order to insure a seat/standing space in the front. When I go to the movies, I end up moving at least once because someone sits in front of me and I literally can't see the screen.

There are a few perks. I still ride the bus for 75 cents. I can get into amusement parks as my friend's child and get huge discounts on my tickets. You can fit into small spaces, and you never bump your head, anywhere ever. Also, other short people tend to like you a lot, especially if you're shorter than them (which I am, not a whole lot of other 4'11'' folks out there) But really, I'd rather pay $2 for my bus fare and have people look me in the eye and treat me like I know what I'm talking about. I have a lot of fantasies about being famous, I think mainly because I feel like more people might take me seriously then.

So guys, next time you meet a short person, ask before you touch them. Don't pick them up unless they ask you to. Don't make fun of their height, don't tell them it makes them cute, or that they'll really enjoy looking "young" when they're older. Your short jokes? We've heard all of them before. Yes, even that one. And if we haven't heard it, we probably don't want to. Let them stand in front of you at the concert. And for fuck's sake, treat them like they're adults, even if you're not sure how old they are!